May lounged in the living room, still wearing her pajamas. Jared was at the breakfast table, inhaling his cereal. There was a knock at the door, and he got up to answer it. Thinking it was still too early for Emily to come by, May made no move to get up. But when she heard Emily’s voice, she jumped to her feet.
“Hi, Jared.” She was saying sweetly. “I hope you slept well last night.”
Jared was discomfited by her “innocent” well wishes. Of course, he didn’t know it, but the two girls watching him knew exactly what he was remembering of his dreams. May was still horrified by the thought of her brother kissing anybody, and refused to look at his face to see if his memory was pleasant or not. Emily, however, was staring him down like she was on a secret fact-finding mission.
“Um, thanks…” He finally responded. He looked away from Emily to glance at May. The expression on her face must have been far too revealing, because he suddenly shook his head like he was trying to dislodge something from his inner ear, and left out the front door.
“Did he say anything about me this morning?” Emily asked eagerly, once he was gone.
“Sorry, he hasn’t said anything at all.” She wasn’t really sorry, though. “As you can see,” May looked down at her pajamas, “I’m not quite ready to go.”
“That’s fine, I’m in no hurry.” Emily plopped down on the couch and started channel surfing.
May laughed at her friend, “You came here early just so you could check up on Jared, didn’t you?” Emily only raised her eyebrows mischievously in response. “Right. Well, I’ll go get ready.”
The hope that Esmeralda’s Cave would hold answers for her made her move quickly as she got ready. Things like tarot cards and palm readings never seemed like anything but scams to May, but now she wondered if there could really be substance to the practices.
Ever since Emily had been able to join her, May no longer questioned her sanity about the magical mirror. This new assurance actually made her feel scared; there were real powers that she never knew existed, and she had been dabbling with them. Could they have been affecting her without her knowledge? If so, what were the effects: mental, emotional, physical? Could the mirror scramble her DNA and give her cancer? Questions from every point on the continuum of worry bombarded her mind. And so it was only ten minutes later that May bounded down the stairs and announced she was ready to go.
“That was quick!” Emily switched off the morning talk show she had been watching. “Do you have the address?”
“Right here,” May held up the newspaper clipping. “I don’t know if it’s too early, but let’s just go and see.”
Esmeralda’s Cave was located in an older area of town, in a half-vacant strip mall. May was very glad she hadn’t come alone; the place did not feel very safe. The ad said it was in the basement, but the building didn’t appear to have one. They got out of the car and walked along the storefronts, trying to find a sign for the shop. Finally, May noticed a narrow brick alleyway between a Xerox shop and a dry cleaner. They walked over to it, and peeked down to see that there was a tight stairway leading down to a poorly lit doorway. “Cave” was an apt description.
They slowly descended the stairs, and the air quickly grew much cooler and damp. May was beginning to wonder if this wasn’t actually some kind of a service entrance, when Emily pointed to a small, laminated paper sign, “Look! This is it… ‘Esmeralda’s Cave.’” The two looked at each other for a long moment, not sure if they should knock or just go in. “Just knock,” Emily finally said.
May raised her fist to strike the door, but it gave way before her hand ever made contact with the metal surface.
“My dear girls! You finally made it!” A friendly southern accent greeted them. Before they knew it, they were being pulled into a group-hug embrace by a slight, pixie-like woman who was probably in her mid-fifties. She wore designer boot-cut jeans and a cowl-neck sweater. Her hair was short and styled in carefully disarrayed spikes.
When she broke the embrace, both girls stood stunned. “Um…a-are you Esmeralda?” May finally asked.
“Actually, my name is Caroline. I just picked the name Esmeralda for my shop because it sounded more appropriate, don’t you think?” Caroline winked.
“Um…” May was totally caught off-guard by this woman who seemed so out of place in this setting, yet seemed to have expected her arrival.
“Oh, honey, calm down. Don’t worry; I already know why you’re here. And I think I can help.” A timer went off from another room. “Oh! That’ll be my muffins. Would you girls please make yourselves at home, and I’ll be right back.” She floated out of the room and disappeared.
May hadn’t had a chance to take in her surroundings yet, but now she found herself in a space that reminded her of the waiting room in a hospital maternity ward. It was strangely light and cheerful, given the location. And it didn’t have any of the kind of mystical accessories and decorations she had been expecting, like colored scarves over the lamps or beads in the windows. There were no skulls, bones, or jars containing specimens of any kind. It was very sterile and neutral. She and Emily sat themselves down in two of the upholstered chairs, and waited in silence.
Less than a minute later, Caroline was back, carrying a tray containing a pitcher, glasses, and blueberry muffins. She sat the tray down on the coffee table in the middle of the room, then pulled a chair up and sat opposite the two surprised girls. “Do y’all like sweet tea?” She gestured to the pitcher on the table, “Please, help yourselves.”
Neither of them made a move for the food. “Maybe later, thank you.” May tried to be polite, but she was still so stunned by this woman.
“That’s just fine, I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable!” Caroline slapped her knees. “Let’s get straight to it then, shall we?” She looked at May expectantly.
“Um, how did you know I was coming?” May asked, unsure where to begin with her own tale.
“I saw you, of course! That is my profession afterall—seeing.”
“Did you ‘see’ why I wanted to talk to you?” May hoped she had, it would save her the embarrassment of explaining things for herself.
“Well, I could tell that you had gotten yourself involved with a very powerful magical object. I feel its presence and influence in your mind as you sit here, even.” Caroline grew more serious.
May felt a chill run up her spine. “It is a mirror. I didn’t know that it had any kind of… powers, I found out by accident.”
“I do have some considerable experience with enchanted objects. Please, tell me what has happened. Leave nothing out.” Caroline pulled out a small note pad from somewhere, and sat poised to take notes.
May took a deep breath, embarrassed to admit to all her romantic escapades. This woman seemed very open and friendly, and she wanted to help. May just closed her eyes and decided to treat this like she was visiting her family doctor to be seen for an embarrassing ailment.
Then she went into it, from her initial discovery of the mirror’s powers, to the way she felt a new confidence to speak her mind with Ethan afterwards. Then the way Jared had angered her and she sought revenge, and how afterward she had felt a pull to be with Ethan that kept growing stronger, until she went into the mirror to get information out of him and left it completely obsessed with him. Emily jumped in to tell the story of finding out who had lost her iPod, but she conveniently omitted her errand to go see Jared. Then May talked about how yesterday her moods had been chaotic—how she felt like a car driving at high speed, trying to maintain control as it passed through the tailwind of a semi-truck.
All the while, Caroline listened intently, pen whirring away; nodding, smiling, and frowning at appropriate points.
When the whole history had been related, she sat back and said, “Now, where should I begin? First of all, nobody can use a magical object such as your mirror without causing a reaction of some kind, and the kind of reaction that will occur depends on the properties of the host object. In this case, the enchantment will have a reflective, or duplicating power. The magic responded to your desire—you wished for what you wanted to re-do, and it took your mind to another world within the mirror.
“But the world of the mirror is a strange reality where your actions can affect what motivated them in the first place.” May furrowed her brow in confusion. Caroline tried to elaborate, “It is a place of reflection, where left is right and right is left. When you are ‘in’ the mirror, the real world becomes the reflection. In the world outside the mirror, a person may have a feeling or prompting, and then act on it. But within the mirror, your actions are what cause your desires. There are extra consequences that come with what you do in the mirror because they will be reflected in the real world.” Caroline paused to see if the girls were following her.
“I’m sorry… I don’t think I get it…” May felt slow.
“Oh, darling, don’t apologize. Let me make it more simple for you. Whatever feelings you act on while you are in the mirror are going to be multiplied in you when you get back to reality.” She paused, happy with her ability to simplify things. May seemed to understand better, now. “You like a boy wanted to kiss him, so you kissed him. Now that feeling is being reflected and amplified.”
May cut in, “But when I went to kiss Ethan, I was actually just doing it to make my brother angry…” Then she realized that after the fact, she had been even more eager to make him upset. That had never been a part of their relationship before.
Caroline nodded, “That may be true, but there was also a desire, however latent, to truly be with this boy.” May knew that was true. “Think back, surely you can now see how when you went to the mirror the first time, you wanted to speak your mind, and you acted. Now the reaction to that action is that your drive to say what you really mean is stronger.” May remained silent now, taking everything in.
“Now, you mentioned others having dreams. The effects of the mirror are not limited to your mind, for you cannot interact with another person in the mirror world without it reflecting into the world outside. For you, you carry with you a memory. For those with whom you have interactions, it is carried on with them as well. But they were not there in the mirror as literally as you, it was only a shadow of the actual person. And so you carry with you a real memory, but they carry only a shadow of it… a dream. And they only become aware of it when they sleep.”
Emily piped up, “So, if May feels stronger about Ethan because she kissed him in the mirror, does it work the same way for him?” May knew Emily was asking this for her own benefit.
“Well, not exactly. I would compare it to the difference between the memory of the events in the mirror, and the dream of it. You see, it was not his full self she interacted with. It was the part of him her brain wanted to access.” She turned to May, “The people you interact with in the mirror are not just some parallel versions of the ones in this world. It is really them. The mirror actually summons parts of their consciousness to come and fill in and respond to the scenarios you are thinking of. It isn’t the whole person though.
“It is hard to explain… that second time, for example, Ethan was only there in that reality as long as your mind summoned him. Only the part of him required to walk with you and carry on a superficial conversation was there.” Caroline paused, “As a side-note, people you interact with in the mirror won’t behave exactly as they do in real life, because many of their inhibitions are stripped away.” She waved her hands as if to set that point aside, “But anyway, his soul was only called there for the access you required, and so he was not fully exposed to the consequences that actions in the mirror can have.”
“But, he would still have some effect?” May prompted.
“Yes, he would, that’s true. To a smaller degree.”
May absorbed everything she had just learned. So the way she had been feeling the last few days wasn’t natural. She suddenly felt like her emotions were her undercover agents that were her secret enemies, working against her this whole time. The way she felt for Ethan—so drawn into him, and captivated. That wasn’t really her that felt this way. She wanted to be sick. It made her sad to think that her affection for him was all contrived. “What do I do now? Have I done some kind of great evil by using the mirror?”
“No, child, not evil… but you can see the mischief that it can cause. Here you sit, feeling absolutely compelled to pursue a relationship with a boy who is not able to respond to you in kind. Meanwhile, another waits in the wings who probably would be just what you are looking for.”
May sat, thinking this over. It was true; she was torturing herself over a boy who might not be worth it. But she couldn’t make herself not want to do it. She didn’t want to not want him. She knew she should want Ryan.
Her soul felt like an ancient tree that had been mangled by lighting and petrified that way.
“Will the magic fade?” May wondered out loud.
“The magic has already done its work, as long as you stay out of the mirror it won’t affect you any more. You are now left with the aftermath. But to answer your question, your feelings will fade and change just like any others. It will take time, though.”
May was floored by the amount of information Caroline was able to share. She didn’t fully absorb all of it, but understood enough to see things more clearly. She could see that the mirror had been tampering with her emotions, and that the things that happened in it may have been true, but they were not completely “real.” People in reality did have inhibitions that affected their behavior.
So May was stuck with herself. However unnatural her feelings were in origin, they were hers now. She knew the mirror didn’t affect Ethan to the same degree as her, but she wondered how much it did. She was fairly certain now that the mirror had to be responsible for the accelerated pace things had taken between them. And now she understood better why Ethan had been so easy and free with her in the mirror— he was unshackled from his mother’s indoctrinations.
The new understanding of her plight was illuminating… but all it highlighted was the truly elaborate mess she was in. Because she still wanted to worship the ground Ethan walked on, but now she knew that whatever feelings they had for each other may have been entirely based on supernatural motivations. When feelings fade and change as they always do, would there be nothing left? If so, she would be wise to cut things off now. Ethan would have been right. But as for now, she was still uncontrollably drawn to him.
“Thank you,” May finally said. “You have been a huge help.” May felt awkward, she wasn’t sure what the protocol was for recompense in this line of work. “Um, how much do I owe you for your time?”
Caroline shook her head, “No, no. I’m not charging you. Please, just let me know how things turn out for you. I’m so interested! Oh, and tell your friends about me!” May doubted she’d actually tell anybody about this little business, but she nodded and said she would be happy to recommend Caroline’s services to any of her friends who might require them. That was sufficiently vague, she felt.
Emily and May got back in the car, it had only been 45 minutes since they arrived.
“What do you want to do now?” Emily asked.
May had no answer, for neither the long term nor the short.
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